Picture Perfect

She swims in her own sugar
Takes one look at a photo that reflects an ugly they do not describe
Then begins frantically
drowning
in a pool of salt
She is the most beautiful
ugly
you will ever meet

Picture
snap shots from a stranger
compliments are custom
popular by the command of God
Beautiful is a common word
perfect
She is not Nicki Minaj
or Lil' Kim
nor Beyonce
not made out of puzzle parts, just puzzled partly
Dark skin

Hair short & kinky atop a slim frame
like an overused dirty mop
cleaning up the fragments of anti-barbie characteristics
They do not light the flame in her insecurities
She is a proud nappy
with knowledge that beauty cannot be found in the measurements of your hips
but when you barely depart your lips
to expose a sea-sawed self esteem
Confidence can be lost in the jungle gym of your smile
and facades can be knotted up in the roots of little black girls
who cling on to your reflected image
walking on the strings of your swag
as if swag was ever tight rope in the first place
Picture

She protects her polaroids between clenched teeth
Swallowing whole
a tarnished
tainted
circused excuse for a bottom lip
It will perform tricks for you
Spit the most passionate poem
and make you believe that this rusted engine
is actually something admirable

I possess a cool hat
for every hair out of place
the stereotype of a poet & smoker for this tint of red eye
for every blackened crescent of my lips
A poem
for each chip or twisted tooth
My flaws come equipped with walking sticks & pimp coats

Fans call me humble

I have fans

and they call me humble

Maybe because I only acquire enough confidence
for 2 word sentences
like "Thank you" and
"Too kind"
and I smile wide with a mouth sealed shut like Ciley
for this reason
everyone thought Ciley was sweet and too kind
I wonder what would've happened if you gave her a hip hair-do
and a microphone
but
I have kissed more gilrs than Sugh Avery has seduced men!
and have possibly chased away past lovers all at the same time
Do you know
what it is like
to feel well fastened in and insecure
all at the same time?
So my stage presence
is compacted with a lot of pain
and I can spit poems about my ugliest things
until the audience gets sucked into my story like a second skin

Tap your wrist
Do you feel my pulse beating?
This is the rhythm of a woman out of tune with her own touch
a woman
out of touch with the image encapsulated
in a photographic lens
piece of plastic
online snap shot
The photographer be my homeboy
and be my bully
Hit me with your hardest punch!

I wanna get knocked out of this feeling
this in-completion
This in-satisfaction with Gods creation
Do not shun me God
I do not blame you
only me for once pretending to be the bad girl
the villain
to hide my insecurities
in my hometown of Camden , NJ
aka the city of Gotham

and even though my fight isn't comparable to the Jokers
his drive of insecurities ain't have nothing on me
but as you recall
I left my make-up and costume back in that land of bad habits
so

The next time I'm passed a mirror
a thickset piece of glass
may it only be for one purpose
to slit the wrist of every insecure character I've once played
For the purpose of feeling that much more whole
in my imperfections

Besides
ain't nothing cooler
than when your flaws
actually walk with a limp.